| Track | Title |
| 1 | Old And Unprofessional |
| 2 | King Of Minneapolis (Parts 1 And 2) |
| 3 | Even Winning Feels Bad |
| 4 | Side Projects Are Never Successful |
| 5 | 5 Funerals |
| 6 | My Response To An Article In Alternative Press |
| 7 | Sorry, Brooklyn, Dancing Won’t Solve Anything |
| 8 | It’s Official! We’re Boooorrrrrring! |
| 9 | From Martyrdom To Star(tyr)dom |
| 10 | All Alone In My Big Empty Apartment |
| 11 | Fuck The Fans |
| 12 | Grudge Report |
| 13 | King Of Minneapolis (Parts 3 And 4) |
| 14 | Anywhere I Lay My Head |
